Next week my husband and I are getting on a plane, just the two of us, for a four night getaway, just the two of us, our kids will be back at home with family and friends and it will be just the two of us.   Have I mentioned yet that it will be just the two of us?  Now, we’ve gone away before for weekends or a friend’s wedding but usually the locations are within a two hour car ride; not a plane ride to a different country.  I’ve been so excited with the just the thought of this little escape and much needed alone time that it didn’t hit me until recently that I’m actually feeling some other things that aren’t so fun.  Such as some good old fashioned nerves mixed with a dose of anxiety and let’s not forget the all too accessible – mom guilt.  Have you had this cocktail before too?  It’s not my favorite drink either.  I realized that even though I like to consider myself a pretty calm, rational person, the idea of getting on a plane, just the two of us, without our kids in tow is exciting but also unsettling.

Growing up I heard of parents who traveled on separate planes in case the worst happened.  My parents were not those parents.  I was raised by one parent who believes heavily in karma and when ‘it’s your time it’s your time’ and ‘why worry because it’s out of your control anyway.’  And the other parent who just constantly worried but did nothing as far as planning for the worse by having things such as life insurance or a notarized will around the house.  So I’m kind of this hybrid of worry and ‘just let it go’ that is really throwing me for a loop as I get ready for our romantic getaway next week.   I mean, what if the worst happened while we were on the plane?  Is any trip worth risking our lives for while we have two young kids at home?  Is this vacation an irresponsible idea?  Now, I know these are my irrational thoughts getting the best of me but what I’ve learned through my work is that one of the best ways to work through something uncomfortable is to first acknowledge what I’m feeling.   I don’t want these irrational thoughts to drive my decision making but I don’t want to ignore them either.

So where this leaves me is that yes I’m nervous but I’m also very, very excited.  I know my husband and I need this time together.  It will be good for each of us individually and as a couple.  Time alone to recharge our batteries will make us better parents.  I love my children more than anything and while there is a part of me that thinks they should be little joeys in my kangaroo pouch,  hopping along with me wherever I go;  I also know that it’s more than healthy for my husband and I to have time for just the two us.  It’s important to reconnect and remember who we were are as a couple before the kids came along and to continue building our partnership so our foundation is strong for the kids.  I can satiate my vacation nerves by calling to check in on the kids but I don’t want to spend these four magical nights worrying about the ‘what ifs’.  Getting on the plane may not be easy but the I know the kids will be more than okay and my husband and I will too.   Stay tuned for the post-vacation post…

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